a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
