Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Randomize
