is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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