I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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