So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
