walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
