Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
