Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
if only i could text you this smell
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
