Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
