I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
