I cockslap morals
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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