I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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