so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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