i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize