I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Boobs are out for the taking
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
is it fun? or sober?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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