Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize