Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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