I'm going to jail i love you
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
