Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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