I accidentally burped into my bong.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
