We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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