Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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