she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
