I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
and you fell through a lawn chair
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
