Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
