she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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