i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
