yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
