Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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