I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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