she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
