am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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