He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I think people are normalizing furries
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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