i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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