I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
