You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
