Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I think my nap took me to another dimension
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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