: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
