it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
