I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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