Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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