Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize