Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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