i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
