i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
