He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
