awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
