I am in a vortex of obligation.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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