haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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