i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
