Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
