Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Text me some of your sweat
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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