Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
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