Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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